Hey Frankie - just getting to this now - apologies, I was away doing stuff. So yes, I think your decision to 're-frame' the narrative in the way you describe above is good: so we open on a scene of horror, in which the alien is presented as the antagonist, only for the narrative to double-back around and show that the creature is the victim. I guess I'm wondering at your style for this piece - in so much as the character design so far has a Futurama-vibe which may not deliver the tone you're after in the first instance - especially as your ideas are more suggestive of an adult, less cartoony tone. I'm not suggesting there isn't a sweet-spot here, but there does seem to be a darker, more 'realism' based story trying to manifest here. I think too you might want to give more thought to 'why' the scientists are being so cruel - just in terms of supporting your design work and structuring your narrative. For example, if the experiments are about 'extracting power' from the creature - so we understand that the creature is being used as a 'resource' somehow - an 'extraction site' for important commercially viable 'stuff' - it's not important in terms of your plot (what's important is that this is cruelty), but just in terms of design and thinking about what we're actually looking at on on screen and why/when, I'd suggest you need to fix on the purpose of those experiments. There is perhaps an argument too here for joining up the logic of your story - so, the destruction the alien wreaks at the end is caused by the alien igniting/activating/combusting the very thing the scientists have been taken from it/him/her - a sense of them being destroyed by the very thing they were extracting/exploiting. There's just a sense for me that there is potential in terms of tightening things up still further by figuring out what the scientists want/are doing and linking that into their destruction - some kind of poetic justice?
So two main points then: is your current cartoony style truly fit for purpose in terms of the adult story you're telling us and is their some additional story-ness to be mined from thinking about the precise nature of those experiments and the agenda of the scientist?
Hi Frankie - Overall, this project has been 'around the block ' a bit in terms of how to tell it.. However, as I mentioned in your tutorial, switching to non-linear was the key to compacting the narrative/time-span into something more meaningful and achievable. Unfortunately, this decision did take some time so what is missing from your OGR is a bit of tonal knowledge about what your script is proposing. It has always had a darker drama edge (cruelty and destruction) but you often talk about it with comedy in mind (the designs reflect that). I am wondering what side of the fence your film is going to finally fall on? Drama or comedy? Obviously, it can be both but your narrative is siding with drama so you would need to find humour in the script as opposed to thinking about as comedy from the outset. Looking at the theme of cruelty (scientist and why) would help resolve that problem and give you a narrative pay-off (as Phil suggests above). Your design's will need to reflect your decisions around tone/theme too. I'd recommend working more with your animatic (story) first before jumping two footed into character design. You will discover more about your theme in that process - it is the key to every other decision.
Hey Frankie - just getting to this now - apologies, I was away doing stuff. So yes, I think your decision to 're-frame' the narrative in the way you describe above is good: so we open on a scene of horror, in which the alien is presented as the antagonist, only for the narrative to double-back around and show that the creature is the victim. I guess I'm wondering at your style for this piece - in so much as the character design so far has a Futurama-vibe which may not deliver the tone you're after in the first instance - especially as your ideas are more suggestive of an adult, less cartoony tone. I'm not suggesting there isn't a sweet-spot here, but there does seem to be a darker, more 'realism' based story trying to manifest here. I think too you might want to give more thought to 'why' the scientists are being so cruel - just in terms of supporting your design work and structuring your narrative. For example, if the experiments are about 'extracting power' from the creature - so we understand that the creature is being used as a 'resource' somehow - an 'extraction site' for important commercially viable 'stuff' - it's not important in terms of your plot (what's important is that this is cruelty), but just in terms of design and thinking about what we're actually looking at on on screen and why/when, I'd suggest you need to fix on the purpose of those experiments. There is perhaps an argument too here for joining up the logic of your story - so, the destruction the alien wreaks at the end is caused by the alien igniting/activating/combusting the very thing the scientists have been taken from it/him/her - a sense of them being destroyed by the very thing they were extracting/exploiting. There's just a sense for me that there is potential in terms of tightening things up still further by figuring out what the scientists want/are doing and linking that into their destruction - some kind of poetic justice?
ReplyDeleteSo two main points then: is your current cartoony style truly fit for purpose in terms of the adult story you're telling us and is their some additional story-ness to be mined from thinking about the precise nature of those experiments and the agenda of the scientist?
Hi Frankie - Overall, this project has been 'around the block ' a bit in terms of how to tell it.. However, as I mentioned in your tutorial, switching to non-linear was the key to compacting the narrative/time-span into something more meaningful and achievable. Unfortunately, this decision did take some time so what is missing from your OGR is a bit of tonal knowledge about what your script is proposing. It has always had a darker drama edge (cruelty and destruction) but you often talk about it with comedy in mind (the designs reflect that). I am wondering what side of the fence your film is going to finally fall on? Drama or comedy? Obviously, it can be both but your narrative is siding with drama so you would need to find humour in the script as opposed to thinking about as comedy from the outset. Looking at the theme of cruelty (scientist and why) would help resolve that problem and give you a narrative pay-off (as Phil suggests above). Your design's will need to reflect your decisions around tone/theme too. I'd recommend working more with your animatic (story) first before jumping two footed into character design. You will discover more about your theme in that process - it is the key to every other decision.
ReplyDelete